The sagas explaining the origins of Life Partner vary, however the epic chiseled on a monolith unearthed behind Jefferson Mall remains pivotal amongst scholarship. According to the stone, the founding members of Life Partner crossed paths just outside of the great foyer of Jefferson Mall between Bacon's and Man Alive. A young Patrick Hume had been in between jobs since the late 90's and was filling in as Zangief the drummer in Street Fighter II: The Band, for a string of promotional shows at GameStop. Aaron Osbourne had been forced into a life of deception by a mounting ketamine addiction; disguised in corpse paint, he had been successfully billing himself as "Brian Dennehy: Unplugged" outside of Orange Julius. During a cover of "Life in the Fastlane" an enthusiastic fan of Dennehy's character "Walter" in Cocoon exposed him to security. Security dropped Osbourne on the entry steps where Patrick had been informed that Blanka would be replacing him for the conclusion of the tour.
It is at this juncture where the inscriptions on the monolith become indecipherable. While the bulk of mainstream cryptographers believe the two bought a cube of Keystone and crashed at Aaron's mom's house, some rogue linguists vehemently argue that Per Yngve Ohlin and Oystein Aarseth descended on a bolt of lightning and taught them the ways of the dark lord.